Humility

Many of our relationships—maybe most—happen in the context of some form of organization: family, workplace, school, church, and more. We don’t just bump into people on the streets. We are parents, teachers, bosses, co-workers, and employees. Such realities cannot be ignored when it comes to loving people. Even more, these points of connection expose a central disposition essential to pleasant relationships. Scripture teaches that “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble” (James 4:6). Arrogance is lethal. As we relate to each other in our countless roles and responsibilities, one of the more loving things we can do is become the type of people who are easy to work with, partner with, and relate to. These are those who listen before they speak, are willing to receive input and instruction, and who have the confidence and conviction to speak up and speak out when situations need their influence. Humility is a disposition essential to both the leader and the follower and is nothing close to insecurity or inassertiveness. A person is humble when they know who they are and who they are not, which gives us a clue as to why Scripture puts such a premium on humility. The authentically humble are those who know who is God and who isn’t. The arrogant and controlling leader is offensive not just because that person is difficult to work with, but because that person is attempting to be something he or she is not. The arrogantly abrasive follower is equally offensive and for much the same reasons. We are not in control, so why be controlling? We do not know all, so why act as if we do? The arrogant are anxious—and ironically insecure—because they instinctively know they are not what they are attempting to be. The humble experience peace, because they can be themselves. They let God be God, and relate to others genuinely instead of with pretense. When we do this, not only will we ourselves experience growing internal peace, but we will find that as we move in and out of our various roles—spouse, employer, mother, co-worker, friend, child—we add value to the relationships rather than frustrate them. The humble work and partner well together, regardless of their respective roles, being able to be who they are rather than pretend to be who they are not.